(This blog contains Explicit language)…….
You see when you have children around you 24/7 you long for a day of peace. One day where your daughter isn’t pissing or curling one out on the floor whilst your little kitten stares at you like “she’s still not litter trained, come on man”. 24 hours without hearing “I’m hungry” for the billionth time, even though your son is eating whilst complaining about a lack of nourishment. A chance to not hear “Hi, I’m Peppa. This is my little brother George..” because do you know what Peppa, I don’t care about your family, unless they are served crispy between two pieces of white bread smothered in ketchup.
So when a Dad is divorced, some assume he has the favourable outcome. He does, in a lot of ways. No kids, no mess, no trains to tread on or children’s TV that drains brain cells. He can do whatever he likes, whenever he wants. Heaven, am I right? Not to me it wasn’t. That freedom suffocated me and made me realise what I missed most. The noise, the mess, the children, the trains, the fun, the love and the warmth. All that awesome and some of those irritations had vanished in an instance. God, did I miss them all so much. I was left with 24 hours of…. well not much to be honest. I had a full, chaotic life and now it was barren. I wished that chaos could come back and it did, two out of the seven days of the week when I saw Mr Pickle and Little Princess. However, it was short lived and then I was stuck with the next 24 hours of boredom.
Fast forward to now and those 24 hours seem less like the dullest adventure of Jack Baeur (for those that don’t know the main character from the TV show 24). In the future I will discuss how I ended that boredom. However, I must concede it has not ended the sadness that surrounds the desire to see the kids 24/7. If I am honest I don’t think I want that bit of hurt to fade too much. I want to miss them whilst I don’t see them because it reminds me to be so thankful for the time I have that chaotic whirlwind of love and fun back. …….
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